What is CALM Communication?

When someone is in a heightened state of arousal, and is heading towards crisis, asking them to ‘calm down’ is unlikely to be effective. In fact, these words can often be inflammatory, and increase the likelihood of escalation.

Suggesting that an individual needs to calm down not only risks invalidating their feelings, it also removes the onus on us as professionals to look beyond the behaviour, and identify what might be causing it.

The emphasis instead needs to be on how we modify our own actions in response to what is going on, using CALM communication to defuse and divert behaviour.

Everyday barriers to a CALM response

This sounds simple on paper, but the reality is, we are often confronted with challenging situations in our settings, where it can be difficult to feel calm, regulated, and in control. Working in schools and health and social care environments, we sometimes encounter individuals who are at various stages of distress, and this can cause us to react, rather than respond, to what is going on.

Seeing a child, young person, or adult in crisis instinctively sends a surge of adrenaline through our bodies, causing us to become heightened ourselves. We may feel anger, confusion, panic, or even fear – all of which make it difficult to respond in a calm, controlled and measured way.

Read more about responding vs reacting to behaviour.

Recognising when this happens is key to finding a moment to pause and consider CALM communication, so that we can quickly and efficiently defuse the situation with minimal intervention, and reduce risk for everyone involved.

Using CALM Communication

This helpful acronym – which stands for Communication, Assessment and Awareness, Looking and Listening, and Making Safe – allows us to step back, both physically and emotionally, focus our thoughts, and reflect on how best to respond. Essentially, it is a checklist that breaks down what we can do to support the individual in crisis, and divert behaviour.

Communication:

When we are in a heightened state, our ability to communicate verbally is impaired, so non-verbal communication becomes much more important. Individuals in distress will focus heavily on body language and gestures, looking to us for clues as to what to do. By taking an open, sideways stance, with our elbows tucked in, we are leaving space for the individual to exit if they need to, and reassure them that we do not pose a threat.

Download our personal space poster.

Our facial expression should be ‘soft’ and neutral, with minimal eye contact, to avoid confrontation. Any verbal communication needs to be low in tone and volume, and slow in pace. We also need to consider giving ‘verbal space’, by not overtalking, and using vocables (agreeing sounds), to indicate that we are listening and are emotionally available.