How to Have a Powerful and Positive Restorative Conversation

A restorative conversation is the coming together of individuals following an incident. In the Team Teach Stages of Distress and Support model, it is the final stage to follow the crisis, recovery, and depression stages. The restorative stage is an integral part of moving on, achieving closure, and making sure that the outcome of an incident is positive.

By coming together, staff and individuals can listen and learn. This process of reflection allows those involved to repair and reconnect relationships. When the restorative process is done well, relationships can be built back up again and we can work together to reduce the chance of repetition.

The restorative process provides valuable insight into how feelings can drive behaviours. It helps everyone understand what’s happened, how it made those involved feel, and what we can do next time the individual feels that way. We can use our knowledge of the individual to unpick behaviours, and consider possible strategies to change behaviours and responses moving forward. Positive restoration isn’t tokenistic; we can learn and understand a great deal from the process.

Who is the conversation between, and when and where does it happen?

The restorative process is between those involved in a particular incident. It may involve a professional and an individual in their care or be between colleagues. There should be an agreed time and space to come together and share personal thoughts and feelings. It’s important that the process leaves everybody feeling like their voice has been heard and their feelings validated. It may be appropriate for an independent third party to be involved in bringing the parties together. However, we must be mindful of how somebody may feel if an additional member of staff is introduced into the process. We need to avoid any misinterpretation that the anyone is being ‘ganged up on’.

The process of restoration can only happen when those involved in the original incident are ready. This is unlikely to be immediately after the recovery and depression stages of the Stages of Distress and Support model. It’s important not to push the interaction; it ought to be approached sensitively, with due consideration given to all parties involved.