Supporting Individuals to Make Choices

Despite working in diverse settings, we can all sometimes find ourselves subjecting individuals to a seemingly endless list of instructions and demands. Daily life is busy, and there is a lot to get done!

However, sometimes this sense of urgency can prevent us from offering choices to individuals. After all, presenting and discussing different options can be a time-consuming business, and if we put forward too many options, we, as professionals, may not get the outcome we expect.

The trouble is, while removing choices in the short-term can help us feel in control, and allow us to get through our ‘to-do’ lists more quickly, it has the potential to instigate behaviour that needs support, and lead to challenging situations.

‘Fake’ or authentic choices?

Presenting a child, young person, or adult with choices, and allowing them to select the option that works best for them, is a great way to develop their sense of autonomy, responsibility and control of a situation.

However, sometimes we are guilty of offering ‘fake’ choices because we want to control the outcome – often, the one that suits us best. Or, in some instances, we provide no parameters whatsoever, making it virtually impossible to follow through with an individual’s suggestion.

For example, when we ask someone, ‘What would you like to do next?’, the likelihood is that they may reply with something wholly unrealistic, which inevitably leads to us having to say ‘no’. By being too vague and open-ended with our question, this type of interaction can trigger feelings of frustration in an individual, and lead to unwanted behaviours.

The same problem can occur when we have already decided on the outcome, and want the individual to make a particular choice. For example, asking, ‘Would you like to complete your work now or during break time?’, what we are really saying is, ‘I need you to do this now.’ If the individual doesn’t give us the response we expect, this too can lead to tension and escalation.

Getting choices right

Like most of us, the children, young people, and adults in our settings thrive on structure and routine, so it would be both unrealistic and undesirable for individuals to choose to do whatever they want, whenever they want. An absence of clear parameters can generate feelings of anxiety and insecurity, and can result in behaviour that needs support.

Instead, framing choices clearly, and providing limited options that work equally well for both parties, ensures that the individual feels like they are in control of their actions, but also enables us to accept any outcome.

Read about using permission seeking to build trusting relationships.