What is CALM Communication?

When someone is dysregulated and heading towards crisis, directing them to ‘calm down’ is unlikely to be effective. In fact, these words can often increase the likelihood of escalation and conflict.

Instead, as professionals, we need to look beyond the behaviour and identify what might be causing it. That way, we can modify our own actions in response to what is going on, using CALM communication to de-escalate situations and effectively support the behaviour we see.

Everyday barriers to a CALM response

This may sound simple in theory, but in reality, we sometimes encounter situations in our settings where it can be difficult to feel calm, regulated, and in control. Working in schools and health and social care environments, we can find ourselves supporting individuals at various stages of distress, and this can cause us to react, rather than respond, to what is going on.

Seeing a child, young person, or adult in crisis instinctively sends a surge of adrenaline through our bodies, causing us to become heightened ourselves. This is known as the ‘fight or flight’ response. We may feel anger, confusion, panic, or even fear – all of which make it difficult to respond in a calm, controlled and measured way.

Read more about responding vs reacting to behaviour.

Recognising when this happens is key to finding a moment to pause and consider CALM communication, so that we can quickly de-escalate the situation, maximise safety, and reduce risk for everyone involved.

Download our Stages of Distress and Support flashcards.

Using CALM Communication

This helpful acronym, which stands for Communication, Awareness, Listening and Learning, and Making Safe, allows us to step back, both physically and emotionally, focus our thoughts, and reflect on how best to respond. Essentially, it is a checklist that breaks down what we can do to support the individual in crisis and help them safely return to a regulated state.

1: Communication

When we are in a heightened state, our ability to communicate verbally is impaired, so non-verbal communication becomes much more important. Individuals in distress will focus heavily on body language and gestures, looking to us for clues as to what to do. By taking an open, sideways stance, with our elbows tucked in, we are leaving space for the individual to exit if they need to while reassuring them that we do not pose a threat.