5 Ways to Help a Child or Young Person Listen

Sometimes, when working with children and young people, it can feel as though they are not listening. When we are giving instructions or asking them to do something, it may look like they are not paying attention, and may even appear to ignore us.

There can be a whole range of reasons why children and young people might struggle to listen, so what steps can we take, as professionals, to help them develop good listening skills? To answer this question, we first need to establish what ‘good listening’ looks like – or what we think it looks like.

What does ‘good listening’ look like?

When we think of children listening and paying attention, we often imagine them stopping what they’re doing and sitting still. We might feel that if they’re moving around in their seat, fidgeting, doodling, or playing with something, then this means they are not listening.

However, children and young people are active beings. Many find it difficult to stay still for any length of time and they may still be listening, even though their body is moving.

Often, we also look for eye contact, to confirm someone is listening, but for many individuals, this can feel incredibly uncomfortable, and they listen just as well when they are not looking directly at us.

It’s important then, that when we talk and think about what ‘good listening’ looks like, we challenge our own preconceptions, and instead focus on communication skills, meeting individual needs, and how our physical environment can help children and young people listen when we speak.

Watch our video about communication preferences and download the accompanying resource pack.

Why do children and young people appear not to be paying attention?

There are many reasons why a young person might not be paying attention when we speak. Having a good understanding of them, and of their needs and preferences, can help us understand why they appear to not be listening, or struggling to give us attention.

Some reasons could include:

1: They are focused on something else

When a young person is absorbed in an activity, they may literally not hear us. This is something we all do when we are concentrating on a task.

2: They are worried about something

 If children and young people feel stressed or under pressure, they may struggle to focus on what we are saying. They could be preoccupied with other thoughts or be having a physiological stress response to a perceived threat.