Communication Preference: Learning an Individual’s Language

Working in a wide range of settings, it’s important we identify how best to communicate with individuals, and adapt our approach to match their communication preference. Only by tuning into and learning a person’s ‘language’ – in its broadest sense – can we provide the best and most appropriate support.

And because communication needs are so complex, broad, and varied, we need to remember that what is effective for one person, may not be as effective for another. There’s certainly no one-size-fits-all solution.

Communication preference shaped over time

From infancy onwards, we learn to make ourselves understood, even before we can formulate words and use spoken language. Parents of newborns quickly become attuned to subtle changes in their baby’s cries, helping them to establish whether they are hungry, tired, in pain, or frustrated.

For most, but not all of us, our ability to communicate develops throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood, eventually encompassing a wide range of communication options: verbal, non-verbal, and written and visual methods. In everyday life, we tend to use a combination of strategies, depending on the context – and the individuals we support are no different. Each develops their own communication preference over time.

Characteristics of verbal communication

Verbal communication is a way of conveying messages through use of the spoken word. How effective it is largely depends on a range of factors: appropriate vocabulary choice; tone, clarity, and pace of speech; subtle nuances of language; and a recognition that we need to adapt how we speak, and listen, depending on our ‘audience’.

Taking these factors, and the competency of both staff members and individuals into account, spoken language can be a highly effective way to relay messages quickly and clearly. It also allows us to rapidly forge relationships, and tune into how someone might be feeling.

However, with verbal communication, there is also a danger that our words are misheard or misconstrued, which can lead to confusion, frustration, and even anger. In turn, these feelings can trigger distressed behaviours, and may even result in individuals tipping into crisis.

When communication preference is verbal

When spoken language is the usual and preferred mode of communication for an individual, there are steps we can take to maximise accurate interpretation, and minimise misunderstanding:

1: Modelling expectations

Turn-taking, being courteous, and using respectful language are all part and parcel of verbal interactions between individuals, and between staff and individuals. If we model these skills ourselves, we can demonstrate effective dialogue, and show the children, young people, and adults we support how to articulate their needs in a way that can be clearly understood.