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It can be enormously frustrating when an individual in our setting lies to us, and no amount of reassurance or encouragement can persuade them to tell the truth.
Being lied to can feel confusing and upsetting; it can break bonds of trust and even jeopardise relationships. But when we better understand why people lie, we can take steps to address the underlying reasons, and use this knowledge to foster open, honest environments where individuals – and professionals – feel comfortable to tell the truth.
Through omission, elaboration, or fabrication of the truth, people lie for a variety of reasons, all of which are just as applicable to us as professionals as they are to the individuals we support. The consequences of lying can range from insignificant to severe, depending on the nature of the lie, so it’s important to explore the factors behind this behaviour, and ask ourselves: why do we lie?
When we have engaged in behaviour that could perhaps be deemed inappropriate, or we are trying to avoid blame, judgement or conflict, we may lie as a means of self-defence.
Sometimes, there are truly altruistic reasons that someone may not tell the truth: to avoid upsetting someone and hurting their feelings.
If we are feeling low, anxious, or depressed, we may lie to caregivers or others close to us about our emotions because we feel vulnerable, ashamed, or embarrassed.
When we want to ‘fit in’ and increase our popularity as a result of peer pressure, it can be tempting to abandon our authentic selves, and lie to gain acceptance from others.
Lying can allow us to ‘try out’ a new behaviour and test the parameters to see what happens as a result.
When we want others to comply with our wishes, however well-intentioned, we may choose to omit or fabricate details to get the result we desire.
Sometimes, we do not tell the truth because we are trying to keep a secret. This may have no serious ramifications, but where there is a risk of harm to an individual or another person, it is vital to uncover the truth.
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