Understanding Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is best described as an excessive fear or worry about separation from home or an attachment figure.

While separation anxiety is common in babies from around 6 months, most children grow out of it by the age of 2 or 3. Typically, by that stage, secure attachments have formed, and they begin to understand that, even if they can’t see their parent or caregiver, that person will return.

However, although we might assume that separation anxiety only affects young children, it can impact individuals of any age. Indeed, some suggest that adult-onset separation anxiety is becoming increasingly common.

For that reason, we need to be aware of the underlying causes, so that we can be alert to signs of separation anxiety and plan the best supports for those in our care.

Causes of separation anxiety

While separation anxiety is considered a common part of child development, there are factors that can exacerbate it, and prolong its presence into later life.

Factors can include:

• • attachment-related difficulties

• • the death of a loved one

• • moving house

• • family break up

• • long-term illness

• • other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

The Covid pandemic, too, has exacerbated separation anxiety for some. Adult-onset separation anxiety often has its roots in childhood experiences and environments, with symptoms not appearing until years later. It can also be the case that there is overlap with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, or GAD, where fear about losing or being separated from an attachment figure can be part of a wider range of worries.