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The early years are amongst the most transformative of a child’s life. They are a period of exponential growth and development in children – physically, cognitively, emotionally and socially – and they go on to the shape the adults they become.
Given the seismic implications of this phase, it is imperative that we build positive experiences for children from the get-go, beginning at home and continuing on into early years settings. In this way, we give ourselves the best chance of nurturing happy, emotionally regulated and well-balanced human beings.
By the time a child enters formal education, they have already been subject to a vast number of experiences, so it is important to note that in EYFS, we are not starting with a clean slate, as such. Instead, we welcome children who, despite their young age, have experienced a spectrum of emotions and feelings, and whose behaviour is a response to that.
From birth, all children are products of their experience. That is not to say that, by the time they reach their early years setting, it is too late to change the narrative; nor does it mean that we cannot plan for and provide positive ‘first’ experiences. It simply means that we must acknowledge what children have experienced before they reach us, and use this information to examine and, where necessary, intercept their Cycle of Influence.
Children’s behaviour, like most human behaviour, does not happen on a conscious level; instead, they react subconsciously to their feelings and emotions, and behaviour follows. Take the example of a child who responds physically when asked to share their toys. Here is what is happening:
The child experiences being told to share a toy when they are not emotionally or socially ready to do so.
This experience results in feelings of anger and frustration which they may feel physically in their body (e.g. flushed cheeks, racing heart, clenched fists).
These feelings cause them to snatch the toy away and scream loudly at their play mate.
This behaviour then drives a response, such as the child having the toy removed from them by an adult.
These responses can reinforce the experience, but they can also help to change it. For example, with the child who struggles to share a toy, an adult might, instead of removing it from them, agree with them that sharing can be hard and let them help choose a different toy for their friend to have. Planning activities to practise sharing could then be used to develop this skill over time and with support.
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