Supporting Families with Angry Behaviour

Children of all ages frequently experience a range of emotions, and for some, anger is one of the more intense feelings they may encounter.

While anger is a natural emotion that we all feel from time to time, for some children, it can feel overwhelming and difficult to cope with. It can also be difficult for parents and carers to know how to best support angry behaviour. Often, it can lead to them feeling angry too, further escalating the situation, and physical behaviours in particular can be frightening, if they are unsure how to keep everyone safe.

As practitioners in education, health, and social care, we can play a crucial role in supporting parents and carers to understand and support their child’s behaviour. Together, we can explore some of the reasons behind anger, consider ways to support children in managing these feelings, help parents and carers reflect on their own emotions, and share strategies that families can use to help children find healthier ways to express anger moving forward.

What does anger look like in children and young people?

Anger is a powerful emotion, and for children in particular, it can be challenging to navigate. Some children frequently experience intense anger that can seem to appear out of nowhere. It might manifest in highly emotional outbursts, such as screaming, crying, hitting, kicking, or biting.

As children grow older, they may begin to show their anger in different ways, such as slamming doors, making threats, self-harming, or engaging in vandalism. Others may withdraw and self-isolate when they feel angry.

Reasons for angry behaviour

Often, we can focus all our attention on the behaviours we are seeing when a child is angry, instead of thinking about why we are seeing them.

As practitioners, we are trained to look beyond the behaviour, to consider its function and recognise the impact of environmental factors and previous experiences. We can share this approach with parents and carers and help shift the attention from what we are seeing, to why we are seeing it.

It can be helpful to discuss these potential underlying factors with parents and carers so that they can look for patterns and work out what might be driving their child’s anger.

Physical needs

Hunger, thirst, and exhaustion can significantly impact a child’s emotional state. A tired or hungry child may become irritable and more prone to anger.

Interoception is the ability to link physiological sensations with emotions, and some children may struggle with this. In other words, they may not recognise that the reason they feel angry is because they are hungry, for example. This can then make it hard for parents and carers to connect a child’s physical needs with their angry feelings.

Read about the link between sensory experiences and behaviour.