Using Mirroring as a De-escalation Strategy

When we become emotionally dysregulated, the thinking, rational part of the brain, known as the prefrontal cortex, shuts down. As a result, the brain’s executive functioning capacity, such as the ability to reason, and process language, is reduced.

It’s important to recognise that when a person is in a heightened state of what is commonly called ‘fight, flight or freeze’, their ability to comprehend and respond to verbal interactions is significantly impaired, and focus shifts to non-verbal communication channels, such as body language, posture and gestures.

We can harness the power of body language to help us de-escalate and defuse potentially challenging situations by employing a technique called ‘mirroring’.

The benefits of mirroring

Mirroring, or limbic synchrony, to use its scientific name, describes a phenomenon whereby individuals unconsciously imitate the behaviours and body language of other people during interactions. It’s a particularly useful strategy for behaviour support, because it allows us, as professionals, to demonstrate empathy, and also to model the behaviours we would like to encourage.

With few demands placed on the individual, we can positively influence their stance, posture, and gestures, helping them to calm down and re-regulate their nervous system. Mirroring even helps establish rapport and connection, and encourages the building of trust between us and those we support. It enables us to show that we understand an individual’s feelings while simultaneously guiding them back to a more regulated state.

And mirroring works both ways: sometimes, we will show an individual what behaviour we would like to see; at other times, we will copy an individual’s body language, while skilfully and sensitively adapting our actions and behaviours to calm a situation down.

How mirroring works

To be able to use mirroring effectively, we have to have a good awareness of our own body language, and its impact on others; this is key to de-escalating situations without using verbal communication. Before using mirroring as a behaviour support strategy, it’s worth taking some time to consider how we use our body to communicate in everyday life.

For example, if a friend is talking to us about a problem, we want them to know that we are actively listening. To do this, we might draw our body forwards, tilt our head to one side, and nod, to show that we understand and care. These small, non-verbal gestures let the person know that we are interested, that their feelings are valid, and that we are there to offer support.

It’s the same with the children, young people, and adults in our care. They need to know that the feelings they have are genuine, and are recognised and understood by us. When we mirror an individual’s behaviour, we are validating how that person is feeling and showing empathy. We are putting ourselves in their position, reassuring them that the feelings driving their behaviour are natural.