Supporting Individuals Who Self-Harm

Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves as a way of coping with difficult feelings, not knowing how to deal with traumatic memories or experiences, and sometimes in tricky situations. It is a complex behaviour, and people engage in it for various reasons.

Self-harm can take place in many different ways. Some people use the same form all of the time, while others may do different things at different times.

Different ways of self-harm may include causing a physical injury to oneself, or it may take on a different guise such as over or under eating, misusing alcohol and other substances, over exercising or getting into risk situations, such as a fight or having unsafe sex.

It’s important that we know how to support someone who self-harms, and how to help them keep themselves as safe as possible. This may mean having a plan for first aid and knowing who to let know how they are.

Why may some individuals self-harm?

Self-harm is typically a sign of underlying emotional or psychological distress, and individuals who self-harm are often coping with overwhelming emotions or difficult life situations.

Some common reasons why people may engage in self-harm may be a way for them to cope when feeling intense emotions, so it could be a strategy to regulate or as a coping mechanism. These emotions can include anxiety, anger, frustration or sadness.

Emotions drive self-harming behaviour

When emotions are overwhelming, self-harm can help by making those feelings feel less intense, which can give temporary relief or a feeling of being back in control; self-harming behaviours can provide a sense of control over emotions or even over their own body. Sometimes, self-harm can provide a physical outlet for when these emotions are so intense that a physical release of tension is needed, which then allows a short-term fix from such emotional distress.

It may also be a way to express pain; emotional pain that is difficult to articulate verbally. Many individuals find communicating how they feel difficult, so self-harm may serve as a conduit to communicate their pain or distress to others when expressing their feelings verbally is just too hard and difficult. It can be a visual explanation or demonstration of how someone is feeling.

For individuals who feel at fault about something, often unwarranted guilt, self-punishment may be a coping strategy. Engaging in a behaviour as a form of self-punishment, often due to feelings of guilt, shame, or low self-esteem, may justify or rationalise the need to self-harm.

Those who have experienced trauma may turn to self-harm as a response to, and a way to cope with, the emotional aftermath of traumatic experiences. If someone doesn’t have support in developing healthy coping strategies for dealing with stress and emotional pain, then not knowing how else to manage the feelings of distress or hurt may result in causing different feelings of pain to override the emotional trauma.